Chosen!

I have been so nervous to write this post even though we have known for a couple of weeks now. We have been chosen! We are going to be recipients of the greatest form of love and of a sacrifice that few have the opportunity to be a part of. I have been nervous about posting because I guess I felt like if I put it on a blog for all the world to see that it would jinx it and everything would fall apart. I am taking the leap of faith that if for some reason something happens, it is not because I have blogged about our adoption plan, it is because the Lord has a better plan.

We met Mrs. A (I don't want to reveal her name for her own privacy) through one of my best friends. We got a text on the Friday before presidents day in February that said, "My cousin is pregnant and considering adoption and would like to meet you." I called her as soon as I saw the text and tried to learn as much as I could about this wonderful person who wanted to meet us. We set a time to meet for dinner on Monday (presidents day). We went to our friends house and I thought that we would be nervous but we weren't. We felt a calm assurance from the spirit that everything would be okay. That even if Mrs. A wasn't carrying the baby that was meant to come into our home, that we would still have the opportunity to have a family through someone elses decision to place. Mrs. A. is amazing. She expressed how much she loves her baby and how she was only considering adoption because she wanted her baby to have the best life that she possibly could.

On our drive home we decided that if it was meant to be, then it would be and not to get ourselves too worked up about it. I did feel the spirit while we were there and I felt closer to my Savior knowing that he was going to walk this journey with us, however hard it would be. That he wanted us to have a family, so it would all work out.

Then on Saturday the 3rd of march we were able to meet with Mrs. A. again because she wanted to ask us  more questions. I loved that. I love the fact that she loves and cares about her baby so much that she wants to make sure that she is making the right decision and asking all the right questions. We asked her more questions too. She told us she wants to place with us but needs to tell the other family that she has decided to go with another family. I have prayed for her that she would have the courage to do this. It must be hard, not only for her, but for the other family.

She showed us an ultrasound and I just felt an instant connection with the baby. It felt as though I already knew her. That I had felt her spirit and that I was just waiting to meet her. It is a girl. I knew it was a girl. I had been told I would have a girl and I knew that as soon as I met Mrs. A. that she was having a girl. Mrs. A. had said she wasn't going to find out what the sex was we were okay with that. It was going to be a huge surprise. But now that we know I am so glad that we know. It confirmed in my mind and heart that what I had felt was not me being crazy and thinking I had felt the spirit when I hadn't. I had, and I believe that is a tender mercy from Heavenly Father. I believe that he allows us to feel these strong spiritual promptings because he wants us to have an experience that we can cherish and remember forever so that our bond between us and our little girl will be strong, just like one that has given birth to their child.

Mrs A. wants us to be in the room with her when the baby comes out. She has invited me to go to the doctors with her this week to see the ultrasound and to hear the heart beat. I am so excited! I can't wait. I just hope I can hold it together emotionally when I am there. I am grateful that she wants to allow us the opportunity to be a part of this process. To be involved. I cherish it and I cry about it often (I probably sound like an emotional crazy person....) but I cry because I just feel so GRATEFUL. Grateful that I am going to be able to tell our little girl about it and about how we (Mrs A., Brandon and I) were all there and all loved her.

Mrs A. is due June 12th but is measuring 2 weeks ahead of schedule. So we are thinking late May to early June is most likely going to be when our family of two becomes three.

I just have such a full heart. I feel so blessed to even have the opportunity to be excited about being placed with a child. With any adoption, things can change, and birth mothers can decide not to place, and that is okay. That is their decision to make and we don't fault them for making that decision. So nothing is final until it is final. I say this because I don't ever want to assume that the baby is ours. She is Mrs. A.'s and will not be ours until Mrs A. has made her final decision. We love her. We are grateful for her. She is doing the closest thing that I can think of to emulate the sacrifice of the Savior and I consider her to be one of my Savior's on Mt. Zion.

We are going to be parents to Miss Maya Lynn Hebdon and we can't wait!!!